The school bus slowed as it neared Mulberry street. Billy pulled himself up out of the seat and looked up and down the street. He didn’t see Big Robert anywhere. With a sign Billy headed toward the front of the bus. Debra and Joy was already at the door waiting. They were the only other kids getting off at this stop. At least today, they wouldn’t see him get beat up.
Billy let the girls get all the way off, and waited a moment, before he stuck his head out and looked both ways. So far so good, still no Big Robert. Usually he’d be hanging around the bus stop waiting for Billy. Big Robert never bothered the girls, other than to stare at them, but Billy was another matter. Big Robert had singled him out.
Not that Billy was the only victim of Big Roberts bullying. All the middle school kids that lived in the neighborhood was terrified of him. He was fourteen years old, only two years older than Billy, but he was big. He stood two feet taller and out-weighed Billy by at least sixty pounds. Billy wasn’t realy small either, he was the center on his football team and was bigger than any other kid on the team.
It really agitated Billy that, of all people, he could be picked on. The kids at school and on the team had heard about what Big Robert was doing to him. He’d heard the snickers behind his back and the guys on the team wouldn’t sit with him at lunch anymore. He didn’t know what he was going to do. He’d tried to fight Big Robert off, but it was like punching a brick wall. He’d tried running, but Big Robert was fast.
It had started a few weeks ago. Billy had gotten off the bus with Joy and was walking her home when Big Robert came up and put his arm across his shoulders and announced he needed to talk. Billy made excuses to Joy and allowed Big Robert to lead him away.
Big Robert was slow witted and consistently got in trouble with the teachers. He’d fallen behind in school and eventually got expelled. He had to go to counseling and he’d been instructed to write up reasons he should get to go back to school. Being that Billy was a straight ‘A’ student Big Robert wanted him to write the reasons up for him.
Billy had his own very active schedule, football and school activities took all his time. He tried to explain to Big Robert nicely that it just wasn’t going to be possible. That’s when Big Robert’s friendly grip around his shoulders turned into a headlock.
Using his knuckles Big Robert roughly rasped back and forth across Billy’s head. It hurt so much that to Billy’s shame he cried and promised to write whatever Big Robert wanted. But it was too late, Big Robert pushed Billy to the ground, kick him in the ass and walked away.
Big Robert never spoke to Billy again, but the next day he was waiting at the bus stop and as soon as the bus pulled away he grabbed Billy and held him down and spanked him like he was a baby. Billy fought and struggled to no avail. The spanking didn’t hurt that bad, but the girls saw it all and the humiliation was far worse than any pain he could’ve suffered.
Usually Big Robert was within sight of the bus stop when Billy got off. Each time Billy suffered some kind of beat down and humiliation. Then Friday Big Robert couldn’t be seen from the bus stop, Billy thought he’d gotten a reprieve, but was surprised when he turned on Penrose. Big Robert pounced on him and threw him in a draining ditch filled with raunchy muddy water.
Both Big Robert and Billy lived on Penrose Drive, though Big Robert lived in the house beside the gravel road that connected Penrose with Pinehurst. Billy lived way down on the other end of the street. It would’ve been a lot easier for Billy if the school bus stopped at the other end of the neighborhood. As it was Billy had to walk down Mulberry, walk past Pinehurst and turn left on Penrose then walk all the way down Penrose to get home. He could, if he wanted, turn on Pinehurst and cross over on the gravel road to his street. Either way he’d have to pass Big Roberts house. He could go out of his way and walk all the way down to the end of Pinehurst, turn left on Connally and enter Penrose from the other end.
That’s what Billy had in mind today. He was hiding behind the bushes on the corner of Mulbery and Pinehurst studying the street. The only person visible was Mrs. Underwood who was trimming bushes on the side of her house. He took a chance and ran down two houses and stooped down behind the Davis’ brick mailbox.
When Big Robert still didn’t show Billy stood and walked down the right side of the street. He thought he was going to make it, then as he approached the gravel road he saw Big Robert step out from behind a tree. Billy froze, undecided as to whether to try to run pass him or to turn back the way he’d come.
Big Robert ran at him and Billy barely dodged around a parked car and ran across the street. He decided to try the gravel road only because it was the fastest way home. He jumped into the ditch that ran along side of the gravel road and scrambled down it. He thought the move might let him get away, but then he tripped over a two by four.
Big Robert grabbed Billy’s belt and dragged him to his back yard. There he threw Billy down on his back and sat astraddle his chest. Then he took a water hose and sprayed Billy in the face, full force.
Billy was soaking wet and crying. The water hitting his face had hurt far worse than he’d thought possible, but he wasn’t crying because it hurt. At least his parents were still at work and he would have time to change clothes and get himself together. He walked with his head down, miserably contemplating the injustice of his situation. When he arrived at his driveway he turned in and looked up.
Damn, Dad’s Harley was in the garage. What was Dad doing home this time of a day, Billy wondered. Still, he figured if he went in through the back door he might make it to his room without being seen.
Billy was having a bad day. As he rounded the corner of the house, his Dad stepped out the back door. When their eyes met his Dad’s facial expression turned to one of distain and Billy dropped his head.
He didn’t know why his Dad didn’t like him. He got good grades, played sports and, well – was until recently, popular. On second thought Billy figured that was reason enough, his Dad had never been popular. He’d been a trouble maker and hadn’t finished high school. He’d even been to prison once for assault.
Billy didn’t understand why his Mom put up with his Dad. When he drank, which was often, he slapped her around. Then the way he ordered her around made it seem like she was more a slave than wife. He ordered Billy around like that too, but Billy was still a kid and expected it. His Dad hadn’t actually hit Billy yet. But still, Billy always stepped lightly around him.
They didn’t talk much, not like father and son. The only time Billy enjoyed being around him was when his Dad was painting. He painted fantastic scenes on Vans and the gas tanks of motorcycles. Most were demonic, skulls, cross-bones and such, but sometimes he did some fantasy and science fiction stuff that was amazing.
Stepping off the porch Billy’s Dad advance on him. “What the fuck happened to you?”
Billy kept his head down and responded, “nothing.”
“Nothing?” he said, as he took Billy’s hair in his hand and tilted back his head. “What happened to your face? and don’t say ‘nothing’.”
“A guy jumped me.”
His Dad’s eyes lit up and he actually smiled. “You’ve been fighting? What’s the other guy look like?”
“He was too big Dad, I couldn’t—“
“What do you mean, too big? He was a kid wasn’t he? Wasn’t a grown man did this to you was it?”
“No sir, it was the big kid that lives down the street.”
“What are you, some kind of queer or something? I was worried about you until you went out for football. That wasn’t so you could be around guys was it?”
“No Dad, I tried to fight. He’s just too big, I can’t beat him.”
His Dad pushed Billy against the side of the house. “Listen, you little peep-squeak, us Blackmans don’t take shit from nobody. If he’s too big then you pick up something and bring him down to size. Now, turn your ass around and go take care of your business. Don’t come home until you do or I’ll show you what a real ass whipping feels like.”
Dejected, Billy walked down to Connelly so he could go around the block and enter the gravel road form the other end. When he got there, he picked up the two-by-four he had tripped over earlier. Then he made his way closer to Big Roberts house. He hid in the ditch behind some bushes and waited.
It was well after dark when Billy returned home. His parents were at the kitchen table eating. His Mom had been crying and she jumped up and ran to him when he came in. “Are you all right, baby, your Dad told me you’ve been fighting.”
“Quit babying him Nancy.” His Dad said. “Did you take care of your business ‘Boy’?”
“Yes sir.”
“Good. See Nancy, he’s almost a man.” His Dad said good natured.
His Mother let him go and patted his shoulder. “Go get cleaned up and I’ll fix you something to eat.”
“I’m not hungry Mom, I’m going to take a shower and turn in early if it’s okay.”
His Mom nodded, his Dad had went back to his meal, no longer paying attention to them.
Hours later Billy was still awake staring at the ceiling. His Dad’s advice didn’t make much sense to him. What if Big Robert figured it was Billy that hit him. Wouldn’t he want revenge, wouldn’t he do something back? Or would he leave him alone figuring Billy would just hit him again?
The doorbell and a knock, followed by his father’s loud voice roused Billy form bed. He stepped into the living room and saw two policemen at the front door.
“Yes sir, I’m sorry. You’ll have to wake him up. We have a warrant for the arrest of Billy Blackman.” The tallest policeman said.
“Hell, kids fight, what’s the big deal. They never use to arrest kids for fighting.”
“Sir, he hit him with a two-by-four.”
“So, he has a knot.”
“Sir, the board had a nail sticking out of it. The warrant is for first degree murder.”
Summary:
Billy, a young boy, is attacked by an older boy named Big Robert. His father, adhering to traditional masculine values, encourages Billy to retaliate, even resorting to violence. Billy follows his father’s advice and strikes Big Robert with a nail-studded two-by-four, resulting in Big Robert’s death. Billy is arrested for first-degree murder, leaving him questioning his father’s teachings and the consequences of violence.
Analysis:
Masculinity and Violence: The story highlights the destructive cycle of toxic masculinity, where boys are taught to suppress emotions, resort to violence, and prove their “manhood” through aggression. Billy’s father’s approval of violence as a solution to bullying perpetuates this harmful ideology.
Consequences of Violence: The tragic outcome of Billy’s actions serves as a potent reminder of the devastating consequences of violence. The story challenges the notion that violence is ever justified or without lasting repercussions.
Parents and Responsibility: Billy’s parents play a significant role in shaping his values. His father’s encouragement of violence and his mother’s initial lack of support for Billy’s emotional well-being demonstrate how parental attitudes can influence a child’s behavior.
Questioning Tradition: Billy’s realization that his father’s teachings do not make sense highlights the importance of critical thinking and questioning traditional norms. It suggests that violence may not be the only or best solution to conflict.
Impact on Billy: The trauma of killing someone and the subsequent realization of his actions weigh heavily on Billy. The story explores the psychological and emotional turmoil that can follow acts of violence.
Societal Failure: Billy’s story also raises questions about societal failures. The fact that he was arrested for first-degree murder for a fight that went too far suggests that the justice system may not always account for the complexities of youth and the role that adult values play in influencing children’s behavior.
By Raymond Franklin